Who knows how funny e-mails get started? I got a charge out one called After-Ike cocktails, with the funny part all in the directions of how to make the drinks. Jokes are directed at evacuation, downed lines and FEMA. Here’s one we can print:

Blue Tarp

1 1/2 ounce Curacao

2 ounces pineapple juice

Splash of lime

Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve.

Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup.

If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the process.



Brittle salad

My sister thought she could save the old peanuts we found at my mother’s house by turning it into brittle. She actually evacuated with stale chipotle nuts and we made batches at my aunt’s house in Katy. The extra spice in the nuts added dimension.

Then we found pecans and made more. Now that I’m trying to heat more healthy again, I got a crazy idea to use the brittle bits as croutons in a salad with craisins and a vinaigrette. It totally worked, and gave it a crunchy, sweet New Orleans praline flavor.



Tunza uses

Tunza Cards have tons of uses. Reusable dry-erase index cards are used with Sharpie, my favorite brand of pens (I’m not alone on this). Try them in the kitchen for shopping or to-do lists or recipe notes. I wish I’d have invented them when I was helping my daughter with her spelling lists. Visit www.UnSeenOnTV.com.



Oh, it’s organic

Kopali means “incense” in an ancient Mexican language. It means dried organic snacks with the company’s “human mission” printed on packages. I never thought a pouch of slivers of dried pineapple could be so juicy, and I’d never heard of the term “artisan dried.” Supergood Supersnack has nothing added and will make you feel good about your snacking service to the environment.

Just like the cows think Blue Bell country is heaven, so the cows sending their dairy products to Organic Valley Family of Farms must be proud of themselves. A new whipped butter is rolling out that tastes fresh as fresh can be. The salted, unsalted, European style and pasture butters have been available only as sticks and now you can get the whipped butter in a “table-ready container.”

Family farmers make it without antibiotics, synthetic hormones or pesticides. Makers say their animals are raised humanely and given certified organic feed and their pastures are certified organic.



Privacy, please

I don’t know what makes me look at a perfectly good product and immediately consider alternative uses. While Moodeez, from the makers of Diapees & Wipees, is meant to stylishly hold “lady things” in your purse, I think the trendy, patterned bags could hold essentials such as hot sauce and emergency snack crackers for long days at work. With styles such as Mini Monroe, Toffee Mirror Ball and Happy Dots, your mood will be lifted no matter what you’re grabbing for. During October, 20 percent of sales of the Miss Pink bag will help fund breast cancer research.



Spice Depot

Tara in classified sometimes borrows my Tabasco at lunch. She said she was trying to ease back on the sauce, but why? I believe the heat is good for you. The Spice Depot’s all-natural spice blends offer the spice of life. I usually don’t find so-called hot too hot at all, but this brand of glass grinder-top bottle has a kick in the Hot & Spicy, or “Piquant” variety. I tried that on a grilled cheese sandwich one morning, and switched to garlic pepper the next day.

So many people keep very old spices in their cabinets. I encourage you to get one of these blends and actually use and enjoy it within the year. I like that the tops resemble attic fan whirly crowns, like so many of us lost after Hurricane Rita.



Sweeter than sugar

It’s difficult to imagine something billed as 200 to 300 times sweeter than sugar. Talk about “a little dab’ll do ya.” Steviva is so sweet to me that it makes me react the way some folks do to hot sauce.

The company reports that stevia is processed from the stevia rebaudiana bush of the Chrysanthemum family. When its leaves are refined into a white powder extract (stevioside), stevia becomes sweeter than sugar, with negligible effect on blood glucose. Steviva Brands uses natural enzymes in a water extraction process which has “virtually removed any bitterness or licorice flavor indicative of stevia,” their press reports. I tried Steviva powder in some drinks I’d already learned to drink straight-up, with no sweetener, so I had to pucker. I’m anxious for a stevia fan I know to try this new packaging with a little scoop to ease in baking.

Contact this reporter at ddoiron@panews.com.