PAnews.com, Port Arthur, Texas

Movie Guy

November 17, 2011

Greek Mythology never quite so pretty, or confusing

— As was the case with his previous movies, director Tarsem Singh’s “Immortals” is another visual masterpiece, but something of a dud in the storytelling department. This muddy/bloody re-telling of the tale of Theseus from ancient Greek mythology looks like it was ripped straight from a Caravaggio painting. Students of art history should love it, but their classic mythology professors will wince as Theseus is turned into just another bland action movie hero—albeit a hero with fantastic abs.

“Immortals” begins with the megalomaniacal King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke overacting like crazy) having decided to conquer both Greece and strike a blow against the gods of Mount Olympus. His plan involves freeing the Titans, the race of supernatural giants imprisoned by the gods. In order to pull this off he must first track down the magical bow of Epirus, but there’s one plucky hero destined to stand in his way. That would be Theseus (Henry Cavill), a man seeking revenge for his mother’s murder.

Now I studied Greek mythology in school like everyone else, but much “Immortals” left me confused as to what was going on. Characters appear and quickly disappear without reason. Plotlines suddenly peter out. Some of them seem like they were cobbled together from other myths. Theseus’ story remains consistently on track, but quite honestly, he’s not all that interesting to watch. The other notable characters don’t fare much better because they are either chewing the scenery or just standing there letting the cameras ogle them.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Pretty people in a visually stunning movie beats most of the mindless schlock playing in the cinemas nowadays. Certainly fans of “300” will see an artistic cousin to that movie in “Immortals.” The action sequences are also quite exciting, particularly when they are amped up by some computer generated special effects. Much of the fights may not be physically possible (or even believable) but there’s no denying that the fights are thrilling to watch.

All of that means that your enjoyment of “Immortals” will depend entirely upon how easily you can turn off your brain and just enjoy the ride. If you just want hunky guys doing some incredible fight choreography in a visually fantastic battlefield, then you could do much worse than “Immortals.” On the other hand, if believable characters or a coherent story are important to you, I’d suggest that you’d be better served by going back to the original myths in your old college textbooks.

Movie reviews by Sean, “The Movie Guy,” can be found bi-weekly in “The Port Arthur News” and weekly on KFDM-TV and KBOI-TV. Sean welcomes your comments via email at smcbride@kboi2.com.

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