Sean McBride
The Port Arthur News
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Twenty-three years after highly-armed monsters from outer-space hunted the future Governor of California in the science fiction classic known as “Predator,” the extraterrestrial hunters have returned to the Cineplex, and this time they’re gunning for only the biggest and the baddest men that Earth has to offer.
I am, of course, talking about Adrien Brody and Topher Grace.
That’s right, the tortured artist from “The Pianist” and Eric from “That 70s Show” have been deemed macho enough to warrant abduction by the Predator aliens. Man, have the Predator’s standards fallen or what?
The film starts off well enough, with several confused people waking up in free fall, plummeting toward a foreign jungle landscape. Several of them survive the descent, and when they ultimately group up, they learn that they are a misfit collection of some of the most dangerous people on earth. There’s an angry US soldier (Brody), a Russian machine-gunner (Oleg Taktarov), a Guatemalan Freedom fighter (Alice Braga), a Yakuza mobster, an African warlord, a death row convict, a drug cartel enforcer (Danny Trejo) and a confused doctor who seems to be out-of-place here (Grace).
They spend a few moments trying to figure out what’s going on, but quickly learn that they are not on Earth (the sky is filled with huge planets) and they are being hunted (decidedly non-terrestrial animals flush them out). So far so good, we have the makings of a good science fiction action flick. The tension is simmering among the characters, and you just know that once the Predators make an appearance, things are going to ratchet up nicely.
Except that they don’t. When the monsters do finally materialize, they are pretty easily dispatched by one lone fighter, willing to sacrifice himself in order to save the group. There are a couple of unforeseen revelations hidden among the humans, including a surprise appearance by a major actor, but this all seems to be little more than filler to stretch out the film’s already-brisk running time.
It’s just not enough. “Predators” needed a lot more action, and more appearances by the Predator monsters. I didn’t go to see a movie called “Squabbling Mercenaries,” I went to see “Predators,” and by that criteria alone, the film is a bit of a letdown. What action there is keeps the movie moving along at a nice clip, but the slight screenplay, miscast actors and far too few action sequences left me hoping that the Alien monsters would suddenly show up — anything to give “Predators” a summer popcorn movie boost.
Movie reviews by Sean, “The Movie Guy,” are published bi-weekly in “The Port Arthur News” and weekly on KFDM-TV. Sean welcomes your comments via email at smcbride@kbcitv.com.
